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Wednesday, August 17, 2005


did u know?

no one realli knows me but at all... i may seem outgoing and talk lots at times.. but things abt ME, i never speak... the reason behind this, i am not so sure myself... perhaps, i dun like the feeling of being transparent... having pple see thru one makes one vulnerable.. and being in control seems to have a distinctive ascendancy in my life...

thus my thoughts are always within me.. deep within... history or future, goes to the grave IN me..
Change


changes i am fond of as stagnation breeds boredom.. and u should know that boredom kills me.. recently, much change has taken place in me and others round me. as ignorant as one can be, yet in another instance one proves i am always not wrong.. my expectations of oneself has yet reached another new height. pulling myself from all that i am familiar with, i challenged myself with a hons degree in mathematics. tough as it may be, i strive to get above 90 in all assignments (and does *proud*)...it reminded me of my crying when i scored 97 for my A-math exam when i was 16 and got chided by mrs Julia, whose 'a' and 8, i still can decipher. i have also recently grown to be a nicer person. i seriously think so.. still a bitch i am, but i am a nicer bitch now.. oxymoronic i realised, but a good bitch's gotta do what a good bitch's gotta do...
i have more yet less time for myself... am not gonna try to adjust i guess, as before i could, life would have taken me someplace else..........

Friday, April 08, 2005

Loves you unconditionally..

i will always question its existance.. truth is, i dun think it exist.. call me a skeptic, but even when he promised to love you no matter what, it came with a condition.. GOD loves his children.. he saves those he loves... and those he loves... believes in him... so, he loves on the condition of you believing in him.. so how so does he love unconditionally?

mothers love their children in that similar way too... does a mother love any other child apart from her own? maybe only mother T can enlighten..

i love only on one condition.. i love those who love me first.. numb is my heart as stale is my soul...

dr skeptismo

Sunday, April 03, 2005

de flight of the bumble bee..

IT makes me juz wanna ramble on.. about nothing, about no one... well.. about no one it most isn't.. it makes me wanna tell on everyone! is that what the bees were busy doing? buzzing about each other, like what's happening at the offices... keeping themselves busy with other people's business?? if that's the case, then let exodus be my sound..

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Insatiable..

my thirst for love is insatiable.. love as love it is, and nothing more.. however so, the word is so abstract that i know not when i am loved.. wrecked as a child i was not, wrecked by men i wasn't.. still feeling so i am, weird so it is... depressed so i am...

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Emma Lisa

hmm... ever wonder what mona lisa was smiling about? ever wonder what life she led behind that face? dun stop wondering...
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Friday, March 04, 2005

its been some time since.. so much has changed and so much has happened.. but one thing remains unaltered.. i'm no less alive than I was before.. future holds more than I deemed possible.. but anyhow, looking forward I am..

Monday, December 13, 2004

the end..

the end of an era.. a magnificient time...
the beginning to new wonderments of life..
together and apart..
then till now...

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

De place

I lie in bed, waiting for sleep to come and take me away..
take me away to a place where i gaze into a sea of white..
a place where i smile, and people smile back..
a place where no one cares even if u look like a supermodel..
a place where money does not equate sins..
a place where love is embedded in every corner..
a place where worries have no place..
a place where men truly love their women..
a place where men are faithful..

De place does not exist......

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

well, another someone said i sounded like an ad for some depression clinic... to think of it... there's some truth in that.. but lately, things have started to clear up.. much to my dismay.. one might juz miss being depressed for a while... saving grace - it still comes and go....

oh well... maybe one day, i'll juz get used to being that santa claus, on prozac, in disneyland, getting laid! :)

Sunday, September 05, 2004

Someone once told me that I sound like a prozac advertisement. Well, let life be my prozac.. May i one day be Santa Claus on Prozac, at Disney Land, getting laid!!!

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

there is neither happiness nor misfortune in this world, there is merely comparision between one state and another, nothing more. onli someone who has suffered the deepest misfortune is capable of experiencing the heights of felicity. one must needs have wished to die, to know how good it is to live...

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

your gift to me

your knife impaled my chest, only to find a hollow capsule whose heart had been given away.. thus saving my miserable life from draining away as the blood dries up like a lake in a drought.......

Thursday, March 25, 2004

you don't owe no one any explanation... you owe it to yourself, and you owe it to GOD...
it is your conscience.. and if you can live with it... ...

Monday, March 08, 2004

you survive

when the world turns on you...

you still smile, though not the same smile, you still have one hanging on your face...
you still sleep, though without the usual sweet dreams, you still sleep...
you still walk, though not in your usual stride, you still get places...
you still live, though not with the usual zest, you manage to survive...

Saturday, March 06, 2004

The BIBLE that is most tattered and torn belongs to someone who is not..

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

everything u do is stained with your betrayal.. your being nice is guilt.. you frown because you compare.. your absence is a lie.. you're tired as you juggle.. you're sorry but its late.. what more do you want from me? I trusted you with my life and these are my returns.. a heart so broken would never heal.. leave the dagger in me and leave it be...

Tuesday, February 17, 2004


The Merry Monkey

Monkeys are fun and loving persons who are always cheerful and energetic. They are very clever. Give a monkey a boring book to read and he'll turn it into a Musical. Better yet, he'll invite everyone to see it free! That's how talented, creative and generous monkeys usually are.

If you go to a party, you'll find Monkeys at the center of attention. Their charm and humor is the key to their popularity. Sociable and diplomatic as they may appear, they can be deceptive sometimes – they hide their opinions of others beneath their friendliness. But they don't hide their emotion. You can probably tell how a monkey is feeling from miles away - he wants everyone to know how happy or depressed he is.

Monkey people are very good at problem-solving. Wherever you are, whoever you may be, if you've got a problem pick up the phone and dial-a-Monkey. Monkeys know how to listen closely and work out solutions at the same time. And because Monkeys' curiosity, they usually have a great thirst for knowledge. Still they have few scruples - they could be unreasonable sometimes, and they have the ability to persuade themselves and everyone around them to believe that they are doing the right things. Some say monkeys are self-centered, some say they are opportunistic, some say they are guileful, but monkeys couldn't care less - because they are also indifferent.

The monkey has a good chance of becoming famous or well-known. Whatever he does, his charm and luck will make him successful. As friends, Monkeys are both loyal and devoted, as lovers, they can be passionate and yet flighty - they can fall easily in love but will get tired of the relationship and look for another.

Most Monkeys have one fetish - FOOD. They are not pigs, they don't stuff themselves with food, instead, they just have this habit of eating snacks whenever they like, and wherever they like. And one last truth about monkey people is, they adore bananas. Go visit your monkey friend's kitchen, I bet you will find some bananas there.

Compatibility
(1 - least compatible, 100 - most compatible)

Rat -90 - One of the best combinations.
Ox -74 - Nice. They are compatible and stable.
Tiger -81 - These two make eager loves.
Rabbit -73 - Amusing.
Dragon -82 - Despite the differences, they'll do just fine.
Snake -57 - Perhaps, it depends on the monkey.
Horse -31 - Not advised.
Goat -65 - Oh well, why not?!
Monkey -85 - Great companions and total complicity.
Rooster -72 - Probably, who knows
Dog -67 - With reservation. The dog might suffer.
Pig -81 - This could work. They admire each other.

Sunday, February 15, 2004

rule number one: never cheat on someone unless its for someone really hot!!!

Sunday, January 25, 2004

I am selfish and an egoist, and as such, I do not think of what others would do in my position, only of what I intend to do. On the day we met, I wagered all my chances of happiness on your love, that the day I staked all my future on having you. That has been my life. Now, I no longer think anything. All I can tell myself is that fate has turned against me, that I expected to win heaven and I have lost it. It happens every day that a gambler loses not only what she has, but also what she does not have.